they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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