he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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