Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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