i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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