You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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