how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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