OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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