she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
