i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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