Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
