so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
