oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
