hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I wear drunk well.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
