We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
