I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
it's like heaven, but drunker
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
