I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
