He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
