Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
