you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
