I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy