You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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