Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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