I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
