Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
