Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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