that's an acceptable place to lick
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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