OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
