You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Randomize
