she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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