I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
