Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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