I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
