Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize