he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize