You're so nebulous sometimes
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I can't turn off my feet"
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
