yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
