Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
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