Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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