We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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