Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize