Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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