I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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