I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
