i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
only you would photoshop your dick
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
How naked do you want me to be?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
