Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize
