That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
