That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
