Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
