I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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