two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
