The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
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Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
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Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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