Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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