guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
