i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
