once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize