im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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