it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
